Datability

I haven't yet figured out this dating thing. I've had several roomies in my life that seem to have a high datability rating. The boys call and call and the girl seems to have a date every weekend, if not two as long as she's in town. Now, it's important to note that this datability factor doesn't seem to be related to the marriagability factor at all, since the the current circumstances of said girls vary from broke-it-off-to-serve-a-mission girl to happily-and-eternally-married girl. But what is it that makes a girl datable? Why is it that there are amazing girls crying in their pillows at night? I have brilliant friends, funny friends, beautiful friends, skinny friends, and "wifey" friends who hardly seem to date at all. The traditional answer seems to be, "Well, boys are dumb." And, really, I'd have to agree, but there has to be something else. What is a brilliant, funny, and pretty girl lacking that causes boys to overlook her?

When it comes to this topic there is this seed in my soul. A deeply sour and venomous seed. I guess that comes from too many years of sitting and waiting. Really, I can count the number of boys who have asked me out on one hand, and the total number of dates on two. Of the five or so that asked me, three are married and the other two were, um, shall we say not playing with a full deck? Maybe I'm too much of a traditionalist, and I want boys to ask me. If I like guy enough I'll ask him out first, but I've never had a second date with any of those, and I wonder sometimes if it's because I wait for them to do something in response. I'm really ok with not getting married any time soon, but a date every now and then wouldn't be so bad. Maybe some of the bitterness comes from not understanding. I had a boy tell me once, "Trust me, I'm not your type." What's that supposed to mean!? And, how does he know what my type is? Is this arrogance? A rejection? Insecurity?

I know that we've been told to make ourselves attractive, that's a frustrating thing. I'm fighting the same weight battle I've always had, but that can't really be the only thing, can it? If it is the only thing all I can I say is that I'm happy not to have married such a shallow person. The only guy who seems to notice any changes in anything I try is seriously dating someone else. *Sigh* I'll miss him when/if they marry; they're really a well-made match. What can I do? It doens't seem logical to go anywhere to meet people that I wouldn't normally want to go, like to a club, simply because if I met a guy there we'd have one thing not in common already. Presumably he'd be there because he wanted to be, but I wouldn't. Too bad concerts, rehearsals, basketball and football games don't seem to be great places to meet guys.