The Principal and the Cat – A Story of Dedication

The weather in my town can be vicious in the winter. Often, it drops below freezing for weeks at a time. This winter has been particularly cruel, however. December brought with it many days with highs in the single digits with most of the day spent below zero degrees Farenheit. The little school where I work has suffered as much as any, our hallways are often cold from students coming from or going to recess. Like any other school, we recently had Christmas break. We were out for two weeks and, upon our return, had the following story related to us.

Our principal is a good man, dedicated to his profession and ever conscious of the education of the students. At some point after the break he discovered a cat on the school property. Now, a cat isn’t really that big of a deal, but when one insists on staying the school grounds – whether by sheer stupidity or determination – it can be a distraction in the classroom as well as on the playground. Our unfortunate cat is a victim of the former. I guess no one is really sure when the cat showed up. And no one is really sure what possessed the cat to attempt wriggling through the chain-link fence that surrounds the playground. One thing is sure; on returning to school, our principal found the said feline with its head stuck in the fence. After some inspection it was certain that the poor cat was not going to work itself free. The cat was frozen. Now, the principal is aware that a cat – especially a dead and frozen one - on the playground is a school distraction, so he decided on a course of feline removal action.

Step 1 – cover the cat’s head with snow. Snow is readily available, and easily manipulated to cover the part of the cat that is actually on the school playground. Maybe the kids won’t notice the cat’s body on the other side…

Step 2 – fetch the hacksaw. Cut the cat free, it’s the only way to free the head from the confinement of the fence.

Step 3 – cut off the cat’s head. Why damage the school’s fence when another solution can be found? The cat is dead and frozen; it won’t make much of a mess.

Step 4 – discard any waste.

Needless to say, our principal’s plan, though well-intentioned it was, did not go off without a hitch. Dead cat folklore has raged through the student population and infected the attentions and captured the imaginations of many a child. I am sure that the version of the story I have heard is not entirely true. I am also sure that if I ask my students many versions will be told.